Stressed with a side of Panic

Disclaimer: This post is a little whiney but has a hopeful outlook.

If I haven’t lost you yet, welcome to this edition of “Life as a Grad Student: WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS?”

Still there?

If you’ve been reading Chocolate & Wine for a while, you probably know that I graduated from Assumption College with a Bachelor’s Degree in 2010, spent a year trying to find a job in my field (Mass Communications, English, Writing – no, I don’t want to teach) with zero luck, and finally decided to apply to grad schools.  My top three choices were Emerson, the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill and Boston University.

FYI: That pretty piece of paper they call a diploma that cost about $160,000.... no, it won't get you the job that you want. Thanks for playing.

Not-So-Spoiler Alert: I chose BU.

Do I hate it? No.  Do I love it? Almost.

The Ups:

– I’m getting my Master’s Degree in Broadcast Journalism from one of the most prestigious programs in the country. (Read: There are 11 people in my program. I am the only kid from Massachusetts.)

– My professors all have good real life experience.  Anyone know who R.D. Sahl is?  Well, if you’re my mom’s age or just really like the news, you probably do.  He was the co-anchor of New England Cable News (NECN) for his entire career and still makes appearances on the news regularly.  And he’s my advisor.  Loving it.

– My classmates are awesome.  Everyone is on the same page (for the most part – my friend Sandy has WAY more experience with a camera than I do…) We are all from different states and we mesh pretty well.  And they like to party.  Me too, new friends.

We're a really good time.

– I’m super close to dance.  Always a plus.

– The BU gym.  Seriously… best gym ever.

The Downs:

– Commuting.  Yup – I’m a commuter student.  AKA one of those kids.  Sure, driving only takes about 25 minutes but I’m not driving.  I drive to Wonderland in Revere, pay 5 bucks to park, take the Blue Line all the way to Government Center, wait for a Green Line “B” train and take it 7 stops to BU East.  Sounds easy? It takes about an hour to an hour and a half one way.  Not easy.

– The workload.  I’m not a moron.  I knew signing on for this gig meant that I’d be doing a lot of work.  I guess I forgot how long things like editing take. 

– I’ve had about 3 major breakdowns since classes started a month ago.  This is the PANIC part.  I get stressed somewhat easily so it’s not really much of a surprise that I’ve been in a constant state of wanting to rip my hair out.  Remember how I said I cry not only when I’m sad but when I’m happy or scared too?  I also cry when I’m stressed.  There’s been lots of crying lately.

So my ups outweigh the downs at this point and I’m definitely sticking with this program til the end.  I am also currently looking for an apartment in Boston so hopefully we can cut my commute out of the daily routine and I can start loving my program and actually feel like a college student again.

On that note – anyone know of any friends (or maybe you?) that needs a roomie?  Preferrably on the Green Line, under/around $800 a month with most things included.  I’m really nice and I’ll cook for you!  Consider this an ad.

That's me cooking. Be my roommate!

10 thoughts on “Stressed with a side of Panic

  1. I just found your blog off BostonBrunchers! I am undecided on what I want to do with the next 70 years or so but you should be proud of working your butt off in Grad School – it’s all worth it in the end!

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